Welcome to the second installment of sleep training, mama! With babyhood and the security of a crib in the rearview, now’s the time to teach your toddler when it’s time to stay in bed and when it’s OK to get the party started. And since numbers on a clock mean nothing at this age, an OK to wake clock is the way to go.

Motherly Digital Classes

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Navigating toddler sleep (13mo-3y)

Helping your baby sleep better is like introducing any new skill. It takes time, consistency, and flexibility. In this class, Rachel outlines the key developmental changes you can expect and how to work with these changes for better sleep

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What is an OK to wake clock?

OK to wake clocks (also called sleep training clocks or toddler alarm clocks) use visual cues instead of numbers to let kids know if it’s time for sleeping or OK to get up–even before they’re old enough to tell time. The best versions also double as sound machines and night lights, creating a calming bedtime routine and kid-friendly sleep environment. And we can’t make any promises, but in our own personal experiences, they also help the entire house get more sleep.

At what age can you use an OK to wake clock?

If your little one is old enough to understand the concept, they’re old enough! Generally between the ages of two and three kids are old enough to understand that red means stay in bed, green means it’s OK to get up. The good news is, many styles are designed to last long after they can tell time.

How to introduce an OK to wake clock

Don’t expect a kiddo who’s currently waking with the birds to suddenly sleep until 9. (Though that would be rather blissful, wouldn’t it?) Instead, opt for a more realistic expectation and go from there. If they’re currently launching themselves into your bed at 6 am, set their clock for 6:30. Make it as easy as possible for them to be successful and then celebrate their wins. Eventually, they’ll fall into a wake up routine that’s as dependable as their bedtime.

Do OK to wake clocks work?

With a bit of practice, parents and experts alike agree that sleep training clocks are an effective tool to help kids develop healthy sleep habits. As with so many situations, toddlers thrive on routine and clear expectations. Think about your typical preschool classroom. Everything from their daily schedule to where to line up is clearly defined with pictures and labels. An OK to wake clock makes time a visual concept with rules they can understand and follow. They’re also a big help during daylight saving time. After all, just because the clocks change, it doesn’t mean their tiny biological clock shifts with it.

While there is an ever-growing collection of OK to wake clocks out there, we’ve done the research to find the ones worth buying. From simple models that cover the basics to versatile app-enabled versions with all the bells and whistles, these are best OK to wake clocks based on our personal experience and rave reviews from friends and parents.

Best OK to wake clocks for toddlers and preschoolers

Hatch

• $69.99

Rest 2nd Gen

You could call it an all-in-one sleep training tool but we prefer to just call it magic. From the quality and design to the impressive list of features, the Hatch Rest 2nd Generation is our all-around top pick for a whole host of reasons. For one thing, it checks the box of a clock, sound machine and nightlight, which keeps nightstand and dresser clutter to a minimum. But more importantly, it performs all those tasks like a champ. Pair it with the Hatch app to program sleep and wake times with sounds and colors, accompany their slumber with a wide selection of white and pink noise options and even check in with them via the audio monitor. The range of volume and brightness along with the quality of sound is *chef’s kiss* and since it operates via wifi, you can adjust everything without ever even stepping foot in their room. This latest launch is a more robust version of the best-selling Rest+, offering a brand new library of expert developed content to help create healthy sleep habits. There are calming meditation routines, peaceful dreamscapes and stories crafted for winding down. While it does require a subscription to get access to that content ($49.99/year or $4.99/month), it’s not required for the rest of the features to work!

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LittleHippo

• $49.99

Mella Ready to Rise Children's Trainer

Created by actual parents, the LittleHippo Mella clock is as adorable as it is functional. The cute but not cluttered design is perfect for kiddos who don’t yet grasp the concept of time, waking you up at the most ungodly of hours. (Just because the birds are up, it doesn’t mean you want to be!) Based on the times you set, the face glows red, yellow and green to know whether it’s time for sleep, quiet play or time to wake up. The display also features a face that changes from sleepy to awake as the time progresses and a digital clock, ensuring it will last well beyond the toddler years. Throughout the night, it can act as a nightlight (with six colors to choose from) and sound machine with three calming sleep sounds. When it’s time to wake up, three kid-friendly sounds can start the day.

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Tommee Tippee

• $33

Groclock

Another option for little ones who are still learning the concept of time, the Tommee Tippee Groclock uses pictures and colors to let them know when it’s time to get up or stay in bed. Instead of just switching from blue to orange to indicate that it’s OK to wake, the stars begin to fade one by one. Once they’re gone, the owl’s eyes open and only the hearts remain! The Groclock allows parents to set two different wake up times for naps or weekends and accompany with sound or not. There’s also an optional digital clock display for when they’re old enough to tell time. And don’t worry about it being too bright! The screen is totally adjustable and can even be turned off completely.

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PlayMonster

• $54.99

Teach Me Time Educational Alarm Clock and Night Light

Analog(ish) parents rejoice! If you want to teach your child to read the hands of a clock while they also learn when it’s acceptable to demand breakfast, PlayMonster checks all the boxes. Similar to other OK to wake clocks, it uses color to help them know when it’s OK to get out of bed (yellow when it’s not, green when it is) with an optional sound alarm when it’s time to wake up. But what makes it special is the educational aspect. Along with the digital time, it also shows a clock face that lets them practice reading the analog way. There’s even a time teaching game with five adjustable skill levels to test their knowledge. The only drawbacks are that you can’t set different times for weekends and weekdays as well as the fact the backlit display can’t be turned off. If your child prefers total darkness, this may not be the best option!

 

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Windflyer

• $42.99

OK to Wake Clock

We love the multi-layered features of the Windflyer OK to Wake Clock which help kids of all ages learn when it’s OK to get out of bed. Along with a ring that changes from red to green, this cute little clock trains kids with its facial expressions. Throughout the night, the dimmable ring can serve as a night light that can be programmed to glow five different colors and optional sleep sounds can play for short periods or continuously. Fighting a nap time battle as well? No problem. When it’s time for them to go down or just have some quiet time in their room, you can manually activate a 15/30/60/90/180 minute timer that shows a sleepy face right away. Wake up sounds are optional and easy to program–well, for you anyway. A child lock on the bottom panel keeps curious kiddos from going totally ham on the buttons and throwing everything into chaos. (Sound familiar?) Reviewers also note that they like the option to turn off the “play” mode that comes between sleep and wake times. Sometimes, it’s simply time to get up!

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Got an energetic tot who resists bedtime? You’re not alone! Toddlers often dislike the idea of putting all their moving, learning, and exploring on hold for boring ol’ bedtime. They’d much rather stay up and see what you’re up to. At the same time, it’s normal for toddlers to go through periods of fearfulness, suddenly worried about the dark or being alone in their room. No matter what’s keeping your tyke from sleeping, here are some toddler sleep training tools to help them get the rest they need.

Set your toddler up for sleep success

Toddlers thrive on order and routine. That’s why it’s important to establish a predictable and calming bedtime routine that begins about an hour before you turn out the lights. Stop all roughhousing, turn off screens, dim the lights, and turn on low and rumbly white noise. With continued use, your tot will start to recognize that all these things signal that bedtime is near. Plus, white noise works wonders at distracting tots from common internal sleep-stealers, like teething pain, and external disruptors, like a too-loud TV.

Another important sleep-training helper: The lovey. Loveys, like a soft teddy bear, can give toddlers the comfort, confidence, and security they need to successfully go to sleep…and stay asleep. Even the American Academy of Pediatrics notes that every child “needs” a comfort object in their early years for emotional support.

It’s science: Your child’s favorite lovey fosters independence

Create and read a bedtime book

Children like to know what’s expected of them, so to help them understand their role at bedtime, create a personalized book with photos that illustrate a typical day in your tyke’s life, including all the steps of their bedtime routine. Read it together regularly to help your child know what they’re to do when it’s time to hit the hay.

Dole out “special passes”

If your toddler is (supposed to be) sleeping in their own bed, but routinely gets out and crawls into yours—or yells for you to come back—offer “special passes.” Say something like, “When I tuck you into bed, I’ll give you two special passes.” Then place the passes, like paper cut-outs or poker chips, near their bed. “If you call me back to visit you for water or an extra kiss, or for any reason, I’ll come fast—but you have to give me one of your passes.”

The kicker: In the morning, if your tot still has at least one pass, they can exchange it for a special gift, like a sticker or a temporary tattoo! If they have two passes, they get an extra special prize, like a special lunch out with Dad. This trick works best with older toddlers.

Related: 5 ways to create a bedtime routine for your toddler

Offer a gentle exit

If you’ve got a toddler who demands you stay with them till they fall asleep, try the “Twinkle Interruptus” strategy: When you’re just about ready to give good-night kisses, suddenly say “Oh gosh! Wait! Wait! Just one second! I need to check on something! I’ll be right back!” Leave the room for a few seconds and come back.

When you return, praise your toddler for waiting. Next, read a few pages from their bedtime book and once again make an excuse for why you need to leave (“Uh-oh! I need to go potty! Give your lovey a big hug and I’ll be right back.”). When you repeat this a few times, gradually increasing the waiting interval, over several nights your toddler will likely fall asleep while waiting a minute or two for your return.

Related: What to do when your toddler needs a nap but won’t take one

Use Toddler-ese

Do tantrums flair at bedtime? Speak to your upset tot in Toddler-ese, which is a style of talking that combines your tot’s native tongue (short phrases and repetition) with you mirroring about one-third of your child’s feelings with your tone of voice and gestures. (“You’re mad! Mad! Mad that it’s bedtime!”)

Once your little friend is allowed to safely express their feelings—and you acknowledge those feelings—they’re better able to hear what you have to say.

Related: 8 expert tips for managing the toddler sleep regression

Try the “Pick Up, Put Down” method

If you need a more direct method of sleep training your toddler, try the “Pick Up, Put Down” sleep training method. Here, you do your regular bedtime routine—including using strong, rumbly white noise—and sit quietly next to your toddler’s bed. Then, respond to your tot’s cries by picking them up and cuddling—but only until they calm down. Stay in the room until your toddler falls deeply asleep.

Then, over the course of several days, as your toddler gradually cries less and less, move your chair farther from the bed… and closer to the door. (This works well when coupled with “Twinkle Interruptus” above.)

In the end, it’s important to remember that toddler bedtime turmoil may seem endless, but it’ll be over soon. Stay focused on your goal, take lots of deep cleansing breaths, and remind yourself that toddler parents all over the world have survived this experience —and you will too!

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How to Break Bad Toddler Sleep Habits

Naps can also help make up for any shortage in nighttime sleep. Even a one hour shortage in overall sleep hours can have a negative effect on a child, compromising alertness and brain function and increasing fussiness and fatigue.


There are many ideas for helping a child to take a nap, but the best idea in the world may not work for you if the solution doesn’t address the reason that your toddler won’t nap. There is not just one reason that babies and toddlers refuse to nap—there are hundreds of different reasons. Before you decide on a solution, you need to understand why your toddler is fighting naps. Once you figure out why your toddler won’t nap, you can put together a plan to overcome his resistance.

Here are some typical reasons your toddler won’t nap—and suggestions to solve each problem.

Problem: Your child has outgrown their current nap schedule.

Solution: Think about any changes in your child’s life, growth or development. Have they learned to crawl, begun to eat solid food or started daycare? Any change can also affect sleep patterns. Watch your child for signs of tiredness between naps and adjust your schedule to meet their new needs.

Problem: The nap schedule doesn’t match your child’s biological clock.

Solution: Nap time, bedtime, mealtime, exposure to light and darkness and activity can all affect your child’s biological clock. Look at your child’s schedule to be sure these things occur at reasonable times every day. The improper order of things (such as active, brightly lit playtime just before bed) can affect your child’s sleep rhythms.

Problem: Their nap schedule isn’t consistent from day to day.

Solution: If on weekdays nap times, bedtime and wakeup time are specific, but on weekends they’re hit-and-miss, then your child could be functioning with a constant case of jetlag. Other inconsistencies can also affect this, such as when your child naps at a certain time at daycare, but a different time at home, or if they take a nice long nap on days when you are at home but take a short one in the car (or skips a nap entirely) when you are on the go. Set up a possible nap schedule for your child and do your best to stay within a half hour of the nap times that you have set up.

Problem: Your child is overtired and over-wired by nap time.

Solution: If you miss your child’s signs of fatigue they can quickly move past their tired spell, past overtired, and into a second wind—that state of artificial energy which often brings with it more crying, fussing, whining and tantrums. When you miss your child’s tired signs it also means they won’t be able to fall asleep when you do finally put them in bed.

To learn your child’s sleepy signs it can help to watch them in the hour after they first wakes up in the morning, when they are well rested. Compare this to their behavior during the time from dinner to bedtime, when most children show signs of fatigue. As their usual bedtime draws near, make note of how their behavior and body language differs from when he are alert and refreshed. Aim to put your child for a nap as soon as they show signs of fatigue. A tired child will fall asleep easily and sleep longer and better.

Problem: You’ve been relying on a specific sleep aid.

Solution: A child who is accustomed to falling asleep in one very specific way can easily become so used to this one method, such that if you try to have them nap under any other condition they would be physically unable to do so. The best way to understand a child’s association needs are to examine them from your own viewpoint. It’s possible that you sleep well in your own bed but struggle to sleep at a hotel or someone else’s home. Some children’s sleep associations are so strong it can only be compared to asking you to sleep on a roller coaster!

The most common nap-preventing associations are breastfeeding or bottle-feeding to sleep, being held by loving arms or sleeping in a swing, bouncer or car seat. These are wonderfully comforting places for a child to nap, but when they become necessary for sleep then it’s likely to cause a problem for the parent who must provide nap time services.

Related: A sleep scientist shares her best sleep tips for traveling with babies and kids

These associations are usually so necessary to your child’s sleep that they override every other reason or solution. Try weaning your child off of the nap association over the course of a week. There may be tears at first, but they’ll be better able to adapt and rest in the long run.

Problem: Your child is taking sneaky micro-naps.

Solution: The very first stage of sleep can last as little as five minutes and can reduce feelings of sleepiness—it lifts the lid and lets the steam out just enough. If your child hits a tired zone and is lying on the sofa, sitting in a swing, or going for a ride in the car, they may nod off for five or ten minutes. This micro-nap doesn’t give your child the full benefit of a real nap, but can be just enough to rejuvenate them and prevent them from being able to sleep when you put him in bed later for a nap.

To circumvent this problem, avoid putting your child in a nap-inducing environment, like a ride in the car or time in their swing, at a time when he’s likely to need a nap, unless you can leave him for a full long nap.

Problem: Your child has health troubles.

Solutions: If any health issue is bothering your child it can definitely affect their sleep. Allergies and asthma are two of the most common childhood diseases. Both of these conditions can make it difficult for your child to breathe comfortably when lying down. Colic, reflux, ear infections and difficult bouts of teething are other conditions that can prevent a child from napping well.

If your child suffers from any medical issues good naps are especially important for their health. If this is the case with your child it will be helpful if you are very flexible and open to finding any solution that helps them sleep. Put aside any notion that your child must sleep in a certain place or a certain way, and open yourself to the concept that any nap is better than no nap at all.

At the same time, talk with various medical experts about your child’s health matters and look to find the best solutions for your child.

Tips for encouraging nap time

No matter why your child won’t nap, there are a few specifics that can be helpful as you encourage any child to take regular naps. Keep these basic principles in mind:

• Maintain a consistent daily schedule that works with your child’s natural body clock. Create a predictable pattern to the day—with meals and nap time happening at reliable times.
• Modify your schedule according to your child’s sleepy signs. No matter what the clock says, it’s nap time when your child becomes quieter, loses interest in toys or playtime, fusses, stares off into the distance, rubs his eyes or ears, and of course: if they begin to yawn.
• Have a relaxing pre-nap routine to cue your child that nap time is here and help them wind down and relax.
• Set up a sleeping place that is cozy and that sets the stage for sleep. Dress your child comfortably for sleep.
• Keep mornings bright and active, and the half hour before each nap session quiet, dimly lit and calm.
• Keep in mind that you cannot force a child to sleep, but you can follow the basic rules of biology, gauge your child’s sleepy signals and create a setting that is inductive to sleep and relaxation.

From The No-Cry Nap Solution: Guaranteed Gentle Ways to Solve All Your Naptime Problems by Elizabeth Pantley (McGraw-Hill, January 2009).

Raising a good sleeper isn’t always easy. Here are some ways to help.

$29.95

Yogasleep Dohm UNO natural sound machine

Featuring Yogasleep’s signature fan-based natural white noise this cult favorite sound machine produces the soothing ambient sounds of rushing air without the disturbance of actual moving air or other irritations. Mamas have been swearing by these for decades for a reason.

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$30

Boundless Blooms guided exercises and mantras for kids

These colorful cards contain 34 easy-to-follow guided breathing and movement exercises that toddlers will love. Incorporate them into a calming bedtime routine to help your little one transition to sleep smoothly.

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$74

Little Giraffe chenille blanket

The ultra-luxe snuggle blankets from Little Giraffe might be the softest thing on the planet. Gearing up for naptime with one of these at hand is a simple pleasure even reluctant littles can look forward to.

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A version of this story was published October 5, 2021. It has been updated.

Floor beds are by no means new. They’ve been used around the world and in other cultures for centuries, but have gained popularity in recent years in the U.S. as more families are opting to Montessori at home. Dr. Maria Montessori advocates for freedom of movement starting at birth, and this includes where a child sleeps. In her book, “The Secret of Childhood,” she describes the developmental significance of the floor bed—something low to the ground that allows your child to develop their independence and encourages freedom of movement.

“One of the greatest helps that could be given to the psychological development of a child would be to give him a bed suited to his needs and cease making him sleep longer than necessary. A child should be permitted to go to sleep when he is tired, to wake when he is rested, and to rise when he wishes. This is why we suggest that the typical child’s bed should be done away with as has already been done in many families. The child instead should be given a low couch resting practically upon the floor, where he can lie down and get up as he wishes. Like all the new helps for a child’s psychic, a low bed is economical.”

– Dr. Maria Montessori, The Secret of the Childhood (p. 74)

Digital classes from Motherly

• $100.00

Montessori at home: Raising happy, helpful toddlers

This course will teach you very real and practical ways to introduce Montessori methods into your home and everyday life designed to encourage your children toward self-confidence and independence setting them up for success.

Enroll now

But practically, in the year 2022, what does that look like? Although Dr. Montessori’s understanding of child development through the lens of a scientist, the world has changed in the last 100 years. That being said, it is still very possible to follow this piece of the Montessori method if it feels right for your child and your family. If the idea of going the non-crib route comes with a lot of safe sleep concerns and questions, you are not alone.

Here are the answers to some common questions when deciding if a Montessori floor bed is the right choice for your family.

What is a Montessori floor bed?

The concept of a Montessori floor bed is almost all in the name. A floor bed is truly a bed that is placed on the floor, or low enough to the ground so that a young child can safely climb in and out of it on their own. This can be as simple as a crib mattress placed directly on the floor (for children under the age of 2 a firm crib mattress should be used), or a mattress in a bed frame specifically designed as a Montessori floor bed. How you choose to set up the floor bed and which option is best depends on the space you are setting it up in, as well as the age of your child when first beginning to use it.

Is a Montessori floor bed right for me?

In determining if a floor bed will work for your family, it’s important to consider your child’s current sleep habits. Some families choose to start using a floor bed right when their child transitions into their own room for sleep. In this case, it’s important to follow the American Academy of Pediatrics safe sleep recommendations.

Although it is more traditional in Montessori practices to start using a floor bed in infancy, other families choose to begin using a floor bed when a crib is no longer working for their child. Just like any big transition, if you decide to move from a crib to a floor bed know that there will be a learning curve for all (yes parents, you too!). Maintaining a similar sleep environment and routine to what you were using while crib sleeping can help with the transition. Also, some have found that starting with naps can be a slightly lower-stakes option. Keep in mind that if your child is having frequent wakings and trouble sleeping, it’s unlikely that switching to a floor bed will solve this. Beginning with a strong sleep routine and foundation will make the process smoother for everyone.

How do I set up my child’s room and bed?

It depends on your child’s age. Just like any other room in your house that you are using the Montessori method with, you want to have the space set up for your child’s needs at their developmental stage. If you are using a floor bed before your child is mobile, it helps to get down at the floor bed level and see what your baby will be seeing from their view. A floor bed allows a pre-crawling infant to observe the world visually without looking through the slats of a crib, but you want to ensure the space isn’t cluttered or overly stimulating.

It’s also important to secure all furniture to the walls, and hide all electrical cords even before your child is mobile. If you’re setting up a floor bed for a toddler it’s likely the room will need some significant changes from the traditional nursery setup. While you may use the crib mattress you’ve had, you can also take the opportunity to upgrade to a twin mattress (we like Newton’s organic, washable twin mattress).

Remember that everything left in the room is “fair game” to use once you’ve closed the door and said goodnight—it’s best to start with as little in the room as possible and slowly add more back in if needed. Having a small bookshelf with a few options and 2-3 toys available is enough at the beginning. Even more so than with an infant using a floor bed, ensuring the room is baby proofed is essential for those curious toddlers.

How do I get my baby or toddler to stay in bed? Won’t they roll out?

When a baby is first starting out on their floor bed, they may roll out a couple of times. Having the bed on a plush carpet helps with this, but it is also important to remember they are close to the ground for this reason. After rolling out a few times they will learn where the edge of the bed is and what it feels like. This is cause and effect, a skill they will be spending many months learning. If they continue to roll out, or it is causing worry, placing a pool noodle under the sheet around the edges can help them identify where they are.

For an older child who’s capable of crawling or walking out of bed it can be impossible to imagine why they would choose to stay in bed. And the short answer is, they may not. Or, at least not at first. Allowing a child freedom of movement and choice around sleep means they might not rest exactly on your schedule, but instead may play with the couple toys available for them until they have tired, then will fall asleep on the floor or return to their bed to nap. They will eventually learn to listen to their body and know that the floor bed is where they can take themselves when they are ready to sleep. A floor bed takes trust and flexibility on the parents’ end, but it will help build a child’s independence and maturity.

Here are our favorite picks for Montessori floor beds.

South Shore

• $269.99

Sweedi Toddler Solid Wood Bed

With a simple Scandinavian inspired look, this natural poplar wood frame allows the mattress to lay directly on the floor. And, it’s the same footprint as a standard crib, so no new to buy a new mattress!

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2MamaBees

• $405.99

Montessori Solid Wood Bed

How sweet is this tent style Montessori floor bed? Made from solid wood that’s easy to assemble, it can easily become a play space for your little one as well. Additionally, the bar across the top is convenient for adding fairly lights or greenery!

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Zipadee Kids

• $615

Montessori Floor Bed

For an option that will no doubt become the coziest spot in the house, the versatile style from Zipadee Kids comes in twin, full and even queen size options. The surrounding rails keep little ones from rolling out and can be purchased with or without a riser.

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Sprout

• $399

Montessori Floor Bed

The Sprout floor bed is one of the most popular options on the market, and thanks to its sleek style and conversion options it isn’t surprising that is the case. The frame is made out of baltic birch, can hold up to 250 lbs, and comes in twin, toddler, or full size. One reviewer said, “The minimalist style is crafted so beautifully, and it assembled in about 10 minutes with no screws or tools. Ben loves climbing in and out by himself and we love being able to sit close to him to play or read stories before bed.”

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West Elm

• $699

Tent Kids Bed

A statement piece by West Elm, this tent shaped frame is Greenguard Gold certified and available in twin or full size. Created in collaboration with Pottery Barn Kids you can find a whole line of furniture to go with this piece, or have it as a stand alone item. The high quality frame will last years, and can support a box spring to grow with your child through adolescence.

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Harper Orchard

• $165

Solid Wood Platform Bed

This affordable option from Wayfair can be purchased in toddler or twin size, and can be easily customized to go with your child’s bedroom decor. The house-style frame tends to be a hit with the toddler crowd; add a few string lights or pom poms to the frame to make it their own. Minimal assembly is required, and the mattress must be purchased separately.

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Coco Village

• $799

House Bed With Trundle Bed

Available in twin or full size this simple trundle design by Coco Village can keep them close to the floor as long as they need. When they’re ready to be up just a bit higher, you can tuck it underneath. It also makes a great option for little ones who prefer to have a parent snuggle nearby for awhile. The style is available in several fun colors to add a pop to their space!

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A version of this story was published September 17, 2021. It has been updated.

Toddlers need adequate sleep to rise to the developmental challenges that fill their lives, from controlling their temper on the playground to staying on top of their own bodily functions. Even the stress of saying goodbye to
Mom and Dad when the babysitter comes can be handled more resourcefully by a rested toddler than a tired one.

Some of our ability to sleep easily seems to be innate, and some kids just seem to be born better
sleepers, while some aren’t.

Related: This multi-functional nightlight is a bedtime must-have

This is complicated by the fact that young humans seem designed to sleep with other humans. You may
get a better night’s sleep with your toddler in another room, but your toddler instinctively feels
safer in your presence.

The good news is that falling asleep is a habit and all kids can learn it. While some have a harder time falling asleep than others, all children can learn to fall asleep without a parent’s presence and sleep through the night.

Here’s how to help your toddler sleep:

1. Start the wind down process early in the evening

Toddlers who’ve been racing around all day can’t simply switch gears and decompress when you decide
it’s bedtime. The last few hours before bed should be calm and quiet.

2. Follow the same evening routine every night, if possible

Your goal is a sense of calm, safe inevitability. Dinner, then a bath, then stories, then kissing and tucking in all the stuffed animals who share the toddler’s bed, then prayers or blessings, then lights out while you sing to your little one, is an example of a common and effective routine.

3. Help your toddler set his biological clock

Toddlers need a set time to go to bed every night—their body begins to expect sleep. Most toddlers do better with an early bedtime, between 6:30 and 8 pm. You’d think a later bedtime would help them fall asleep more easily, but when they stay up later, they get overtired, and stress hormones like adrenalin and cortisol kick in to keep them going. Then, they actually have a harder time falling asleep, wake up more during the night, and often wake early in the morning.

Related: 9 products the mamas of Motherly swear by to help baby sleep

4. Make a cozy bed

All children go through normal sleep cycles in which they wake just slightly and then settle into deep sleep again. Your goal is to ensure that discomfort doesn’t wake your child during those periods of slight waking.

Blackout shades or curtains can be invaluable, especially in the summer months when your toddler will be going to sleep while it’s still light out. And warmth matters—if your toddler kicks covers off, make sure they sleep in warm PJs with feet.

5. Many toddlers need a bedtime snack to hold them through the night

Warm milk, a piece of toast, something calming and predictable, not too interesting, and without sugar, works best. If they still nurse to sleep or fall asleep with a bottle, you’ll want to break that association so that when your child wakes in the night they can go back to sleep on their own.

6. Don’t give up naps too early

Although every child has individual sleep needs, most kids are not ready to give up naps until age 3. Going napless before that just makes them cranky and adrenalized, making bedtime much
more challenging.

7. Make sure they get enough fresh air, sunshine and exercise during the day

Kids really do sleep more soundly when they get more outdoor play. Laughter is also essential because it transforms the body chemistry to reduce the stress hormones.

Often, kids who have a hard time settling at bedtime have a full emotional backpack and the laughter helps them fall asleep and stay asleep. If laughter isn’t enough, your child will show you, with oppositional behavior, that he needs more help to empty all that stress. In that case, they probably need to cry before they can settle down to sleep.

8. Decide for or against the family bed for your family

Most toddlers fall asleep easily if you lie down with them and many parents do this. Other parents resist because they too often fall asleep themselves and
lose their evenings.

This is an individual call and there is no shame in waiting till your child is a little older before expecting them to put themselves to sleep—it does get easier for kids as they get older.

9. If you aren’t using the family bed, consciously teach your child to put themselves to sleep

Kids in the family bed often do this automatically since they’re reassured by their parents’ presence, and since sleeping with the mother is certainly a natural state biologically for toddlers. If you don’t want a family bed, your goal is for your toddler to put their self back to sleep when they wake slightly at night.

10. Teach new sleep habits

If you’ve been helping your child fall asleep with nursing or rocking when they wake slightly during normal sleep cycles, they are likely to look for you because they need to be nursed or rocked again to fall back asleep

Your goal now is to help them fall asleep in their own crib or bed at night. That means putting them into bed when they’re awake so that they can get used to falling asleep there on their own.

11. Explain to your child what’s going to happen

Tell your child, “You like to be rocked, but you can learn to settle down and sleep without rocking….we need to be in the bed…I am right here with you…you can cry as much as you want…I will hold you…You can learn this.”

Stay calm and loving and insist that it’s time for sleeping.

12. Start slow

After your bedtime routine, begin by holding your child until they fall asleep—but don’t lie down, you might fall asleep, too. Once they’re used to falling asleep this way, the next phase is to touch, but not hold, your child.

Eventually, they’ll be able to fall asleep with you simply holding their hand, or putting your hand on their forehead.

When they can fall asleep being touched but not held, begin to sit next to them while they doze off with no touch. Finally, begin sitting further and further away until you are outside the bedroom door. If your child tries to sit up in bed, just remind them in a monotone that it’s, “Bedtime, sleep time, lie down now please.”

You probably will find that some days they backslide and need you to touch them again. That’s okay, it won’t sabotage your overall momentum, as long as the next day you’re back to your program.

13. What if they cry?

Your little one is learning new sleep habits, and that’s hard. They may cry and beg for you to do things the old way. They’re showing you all their fear of being without you. Your job is to listen and acknowledge, “I hear that you’re worried… I will be very close by…I will always come if you call…I know you can fall asleep without me.”

When young children get a chance to cry in our loving presence, they experience those fears they’ve been fending off, and they are able to fall asleep more easily. This is not the same as leaving a child to cry it out, which leaves them alone with the fears. Your goal is to avoid trauma, which is best done by moving very slowly through this learning process.

14. Night wakings

These usually diminish as kids learn to put themselves to sleep because when they wake slightly at night they aren’t looking around for mom or dad. While your child is still needing you to fall asleep, however, they will probably keep waking up at night. For that interim period, many parents find it easier to just let their toddler climb in bed with them, particularly because they haven’t yet learned to fall asleep without being held and thus could wake repeatedly at night.

Special note for moms who are nursing toddlers: It’s fine to nurse your toddler at night if you’re up for it. However, many toddlers who nurse at night wake up all night asking for milk. So it is also fine to night-wean your toddler, and it should not impact your nursing relationship if you make sure that your little one has plenty of cozy nursing opportunities during waking hours.

15. Acknowledge your child’s courage and loss

Tell them how proud you are when they make progress in learning to sleep on their own. They need some motivation to do what is a hard thing for most toddlers. Any other motivation you can give will also be valuable.

Some kids respond to little prizes in the morning, and if they show any interest in eventually having sleepovers, you can point out their progress. And remember to provide plenty of physical closeness and snuggles during the day, to make up for their independence at night.

This gradual program provides a sense of security while at the same time teaching your toddler to feel comfortable falling asleep without your physical proximity. Eventually, you’ll find that your toddler is asleep almost as soon as their head settles on the pillow—and you’ll be amazed to find that you actually have an evening!

If you are interested in an exploring this topic more thoroughly, the original article can be found here on Aha! Parenting. You can also click here to watch Dr. Laura’s video “When Your Three-Year-Old Takes Over An Hour To Fall Asleep.”

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If your little one is growing out of their sleep sacks and entering toddlerhood, but you’re not ready for blankets just yet, there are a variety of toddler sleep sacks that come in extended sizes.

Wearable blankets aren’t just a must-have for infants, they’re a great option for toddlers, too.

Plus, a toddler that wears a sleep sack can’t really climb out of the crib the way a toddler without the sleep sack barrier might be able to…just saying! Warmth isn’t the only reason we love toddler sleep sacks.

Without further ado, here is a roundup of the best toddler sleep sacks so you and your kiddo can sleep safely and soundly all night long.

Best toddler sleep sacks

MiliMili

• $48

Kona Banana Wearable Blanket

MiliMili knocks it out of the park with all their colorful sleep sacks, but the Kona Banana print is our ultimate favorite. The adorable wearable blanket is soft, comfy, and made from high-quality bamboo jersey fabric, which is great for toddlers’ sensitive skin. There’s a dual zipper, which means it opens at the top and the bottom so zipping up at bedtime or after a diaper change is a cinch! There’s a tab that covers the zipper so it protects your toddler’s chin and keeps them from unzipping themselves through the night. As one of the longest on the market, it will fit kids up to 42″tall.

SHOP

baby deedee

• $29.71

Fleece Kicker Sack

A cozy, mid-weight sleep sack that’s perfect for movers and shakers! The walker-style bag is made from soft and snuggly fleece that layers well for year-round use and fits kiddos up to 41.5 inches tall. The dark colors are a nice touch for toddlers who can’t help but get everything they wear stained within five hot seconds but our favorite feature are the pockets. What do sleep-bound toddlers have to hold onto? Who’s to say. But they can always find something, right?

SHOP

Woolino

• $124.99

Four Season Merino Wool Sleep Sack

A top-rated favorite across all their styles, the Australian brand Woolino gets high marks for quality and durability. At $124.99, it’s certainly pricey but the built-to-last merino wool style is designed for four season wearability, keeping little ones cool in the summer and warm when the temperatures drop. It features an inverted zipper for easy diaper changes, shoulder snaps and under-arm snaps to adjust the fit. But our favorite feature? Seatbelt slots that make the transition from car ride naps to bedtime bliss easy-peasy. (Well, as easy as it ever is, right?)

SHOP

ergobaby

• $35

On the Move Sleep Bag

Got a hot sleeper on your hands? ergobaby’s walker style is made from 100% cotton which is light and cool. It also makes it a great option for summer! The style is actually a 2-in-1 as it can convert to a traditional sleep sack if you’d rather keep the options open. There’s a two-way zipper, but the totally clutch feature is the seatbelt slot. No more waking them up when it’s time to get ready for bed! Zip them up before you hit the road (or the sidewalk) and you’ll marvel at just what a pro you are. (This sleep sack is sized up to size 36 months and measures up to 38″ long.)

SHOP

Molis & Co.

• $24.99

Muslin Sleep Sack

We all love a good muslin blanket, right? They’re so soft, comfortable, and durable. This toddler sleep sack comes in that same popular muslin material, which means it’s light but also keeps your little one warm enough through the night. This one comes in a variety of patterns and colors, and goes up to size 36 months.

SHOP

ergopouch

Preschooler Sleep Suit Bag

For a one stop shop that takes out all the guesswork, look no further than Australian-based ergoPouch. Made from natural fibers and GOTS certified organic cotton, their sleep sacks are sized all the way up to age six (!) and available in three TOG-rated (Thermal Overall Grade) styles: Sleeveless, short-sleeved and long-sleeved. Each style can transition between sack style and walker style with a four-way zipper that makes middle of the night bathroom trips as easy as possible. Other features we’re totally smitten with? Grippers on the feet to save them from wipeouts and a stroller slot to save your sanity.

 

 

SHOP

Kyte Baby

• $70

2.5 Tog Sleep Bag Walker

Sometimes toddlers are little Houdinis, right? They can figure out how to get unzipped and undressed in the blink of an eye. Luckily, this Kyte Baby Sleep Walker is for your kiddo on-the-go. The soft fabric keeps body heat in while allowing mobility. It comes in tons of gorgeous colors and can fit toddlers up to 4T!

SHOP

Halo

• $24.99

Big Kids Sleep Sack

Everyone’s favorite go-to sleep sack brand, HALO, has this awesome big-kid option that goes up to size 5T! It’s made from a polyester knit fabric, which makes it good for warmer nights and also can be layered with cozier pajamas for cooler weather. These types of sleeps sacks allow plenty of room for hips and legs to move around and kick.

SHOP

A version of this story was published June 8, 2021. It has been updated.

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The best learning towers for independent toddlers

Why the quotation marks? Because, much like other sleep regressions, this one doesn’t necessary happen in the precise months the books told you it would. Instead, sleep regression is likely to rear its head whenever your little one is going through her first and biggest phase of learning control and independence.

While other sleep regressions, like the one that often occurs between 8-10 months, were often about physical development (crawling, pulling to stand, cruising), the toddler sleep regression is about your child learning and exerting control and independence, and testing boundaries to determine how the world really works.

Not to worry, tired families—this, too, can be managed. It will take some time, it will take consistency, and—like everything else with toddlers—it will inevitably take loads of patience.

Here are my top tips for managing the toddler sleep regression:

1. Bedtime timing is key

Many parents will assume that because their child is now a bit older, bedtime should be later. This is not necessarily the case so the first place to look when trying to solve those bedtime struggles is the timing of when your child goes to bed to ensure they are not overtired. Most toddlers who wake for the day around 6 or 7 am and nap for a couple of hours at noon each day should be in bed for the night at 7 pm to avoid over-tiredness.

In some (more rare) instances, toddlers aren’t having quite enough awake time before bed and it could be that they are not quite ready for sleep when mom or dad is tucking them in for the night. If your toddler is having a later nap of, for example, 1 pm to 3 pm each day, it’s likely that they can handle a bedtime of 7:30 pm. This will help them to be more ready for rest when they hit the hay.

2. Consider your toddler’s room environment

Distractions in your child’s room environment can play a key role in toddler bedtime struggles. Avoid loads of toys piling up in your child’s room to keep distractions and early morning Lego parties at bay.

Ensure the room is very dark, to avoid street lights causing bedtime challenges, or sunlight causing napping struggles.

If your toddler has expressed a fear of the dark (this is a learned thing, so some toddlers express this fear while others do not) then you could consider a small night-light to calm their worries, but ensure it is quite dim so as not to be distracting (and I recommend an LED option so it does not get too hot and become a safety issue).

3. Your 18-month old should be in a crib

I suggest that children sleep in a crib until at least the age of 3 and do not transition to a toddler bed or bigger bed before that time. The reason for this is related to your child’s level of comprehension at this age. While it’s certainly not always a breeze to “reason” and “negotiate” with a 3 year-old who is constantly getting out of bed, it can be a piece of cake compared to attempting to rationalize with a 2-year-old who does not have the same comprehension level and reasoning skills as an older child.

4. Kick the bedtime screen time

Your toddler’s amazing little mind is already running at about 100 miles per minute, so no need to add to this in the minutes leading up to Snoozeville! Avoid any screen time at all at least 1.5 hours before bedtime. On top of the colors, the cartoon characters, and everything else on the screen that stimulates your little one’s brain, the bright light emitted from screens inhibits the production of melatonin, which is the naturally occurring hormone that helps our bodies fall asleep at our proper, age-appropriate bedtime.

5. Strengthen your nightly routine

If you already have a bedtime routine in place, that’s great! But even the best bedtime routine may need some tweaking in the toddler phase.

Toddlers thrive in situations where they know what is coming up next, so consider creating a bedtime chart to help your child visualize and prepare for each step of their routine. Find fun images of each element of the routine—bath, PJs, story time and in to bed—and put them on a chart, and then check them off with your little one as you complete them. Or consider taking pictures of your child doing each element of the routine and putting stickers on the chart as they complete each item each night.

Let your toddler have some decision-making power, as this is generally what’s at the root of the bedtime struggles. Let them choose from a few options of pajamas. Let them pick the books, but ensure you limit it to two books, and only two books, every night. If your toddler knows what to expect and you never deviate from this, it will reduce the protesting for “One more book! Pleeeeeaaasee, just one more book!”

6. Consider a comfort object

Children at this age often experience a new level of separation anxiety, so in addition to ensuring you fill up your little one’s love bucket during the day, and spend ample time on cuddles, talking and bonding during the bedtime routine, you may wish to consider giving your child a comfort object for sleep. Most recommendations suggest nothing of this nature in the crib earlier than the age of one, but as a toddler it may be helpful to allow your child something small and soft and safe to provide extra comfort for sleep. Though I do suggest only one sleep object, to reduce stall tactics (“Froggy tonight! No, Bunny tonight! No! Duckie tonight!”) after the lights are out.

7. Keep it simple

Toddlers are growing and changing rapidly. By 18 months, they learn one new word every two waking hours; however, just because they understand the words doesn’t mean they speak them or that you can reason with them—that comes closer to the age of 3 (another good reason to keep the crib until at least that age). Any attention is good attention to a toddler. Your little one will need boundaries, but expectations will need to be reasonable and the language you use to communicate those expectations needs to be very simple using few, calm, even-toned words.

8. Don’t stray from usual sleep habits

If you do not allow your child to sleep in your bed, if your family’s sleep habits don’t include lying with your little one while he dozes off at night, or if your sleep practices involve waiting five minutes before responding to your child’s midnight tantrums, I don’t recommend changing these habits to try to get through this regression. Instead of helping you cope, they are likely to lead to much longer-term sleep challenges even once this “phase” has passed.

With this being said, of course you will need to respond to your little one during night wakes or manage those bedtime battles in a way that he feels supported and loved. Perhaps this looks like holding your child during a night wake, but not holding them all the way to sleep; or lying with your child at bedtime, but leaving the room while they are still awake so they can drift off independently. This is much more likely to get you through this regression and out the other side with good sleep habits in tact than throwing your old practices out the window!

Build a better bedtime for your toddler with these sleep helpers.

The perfect pajamas

Cozy, cuddly and practically indestructible, these pajamas are designed to be passed down from sibling to sibling.

$37

Buy Now

 

 

Plush lamb

Oh, hi new best friend. Science shows your toddler’s favorite lovey actually helps develop their independence , so curl up and snuggle away.

$15

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Bedtime bath milk

Moisturizing, all-natural bath milk makes bath time a soothing, calming pre-bedtime ritual for your toddler

$36

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This post was originally published on The Happy Sleep Company blog.

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How to Break Bad Toddler Sleep Habits

We asked #TeamMotherly to share their child’s nap schedules and we received more than 1,000 responses. Here are some of them:

1. An 18-month-old with two naps

“My son is 18 months old. He wakes any where from 7-8 AM. He takes his first nap around 10-11 AM. He sleeps for one to two hours. He then takes another nap around 3 PM and will sleep for an hour and a half. He then goes to bed around 6:45-7:30 PM and sleeps through the night until the next morning.”—Sara D.

2. Adult sons need naps, too

“Sons ages 28, 21, 18 they nap at every opportunity.”—Jackie B.

3. No more daytime naps for these four kids

“I have four children. As soon as they all turned one, they cut out their daytime nap. I currently have a 7-month-old that has never had a daytime nap, 10 mins max is all he will sleep during the day.”—Naomi V.

4. A 20-month-old with one nap

“My son is 20 months old. Gets up between 7:30-8 AM, sometimes earlier. He’s been taking one nap a day since before he was a year old, usually from about 12:30-3:30 PM. Bed time is around 8:30-9 PM, although by the time the kid finally falls asleep it can be anywhere from 9-10:30 PM.”—Kelli W.

5. No schedule necessary

“No schedule for naps. Takes one if needed only. Bedtime is fluid too. She usually sleeps from midnight to noon. No pressure on the time she falls asleep but we are in bed by midnight every night.”—Shakia K.

6. A 10-month-old with two naps

“My 10-month-old wakes at 6.30-7 AM, naps about 9-9.30 AM for one hour, then again in afternoon around 2.30 PM for about 45-90 minutes depending on her needs. Bed at 6.30-7 PM and wakes every two hours for a slurp of milk and a snuggle. TIRED Mammy!”—Car N.

7. A 4-month-old who power naps

“My 4-month-old girl bedtime routine at 7-8 PM depending on when she’s starting to show she’s sleepy. Feed between 1-3AM and back asleep until 6-7 AM. Feed then asleep 8 AM. Feed then asleep around 11 AM, sleep at 1 PM. Feed at 2 PM, then sleep at 3 PM. Feed at 5pm and sometimes another nap. Very loose schedule as it’s all guided by her but this is about standard. Her naps are usually 10-minute power naps too.”—Jade W.

8. A mom with two kids on slightly different schedules

“My 4-year-old daughter quit her nap when she was just over 2.5 yrs. She’s been sleeping 12-plus hours a night since eight weeks old. She previously had good naps, but once little brother came…. game over. Her bedtime is 7 PM, she’s usually asleep by 8 PM, and she wakes up at 8 AM for preschool or 8:30 AM on non-school days. My son is 20 months—asleep at 7 PM, wakes between 7:30 and 8 AM, naps from 1-4 PM.”—April B.

9. A 2.5-year-old with a must-have daily nap

“2.5 years old. Noon to 2 PM everyday, an occasional Saturday it might start at 1 PM, but always a daily nap.”—Tamara X

10. An 18-month-old who fights sleep

“18 month old.Hates sleep. Fights naps. Has yet to sleep through the night. Depending on how long she parties at 2-3 AM depends on when she crashes… sometimes 10 AM sometimes 1 PM sometimes 3 PM and sometimes no nap and she crashes at dinner in the high chair. I try to have her routine bath at 7 PM and in bed by 8-8:30 PM with her melatonin. We are up by 7 AM every day.”—Casey L.

11. A 1-year-old with two naps

“1 year old still two naps a day. First nap seemed to be getting later and shorter but now he is back to napping 9:00-10:30 AM and then 2:00-3:30 PM. Bedtime at 7 PM (asleep by 7:30 PM) and wakes 6 AM (like clockwork, putting him to bed later does not get us a later wake up!)”—Tracey N

12. A 10-month-old who recently hasn’t woken overnight for a bottle

“10 months old. Awake at 6:30 AM on the dot most mornings. Two naps a day anywhere from one to two hours. Bedtime around 6:30-7 PM. Bub sleeps for 11-12 hours overnight and recently hasn’t woke for a bottle. I base naps and bedtime around awake times! “—Carissa L.

13. A 3-month-old that naps longer when she’s being held

“I have a 3-month-old, she’s in bed by 8:30-9 PM and sleeps till 7-8:30 AM. Rare occasion she’s up earlier like this morning (6:30 AM) lol. She eats and then is up and actually is tranced by Mickey Mouse lol she will always nap about a hour and a half to two hours after her feedings. Naps range from hours to mins. All depends. She don’t stay sleeping for long if I lay her down by herself but if she’s next to me or in holding her then it’s hours.”—Randi G.

14. A 4-year-old with quiet time

“My 4-year-old daughter stopped napping before she was two. We couldn’t force her to sleep and she sleeps much better at night without napping. We enforce “quiet time” instead. My 18-month-old son loves naps and naps once in the morning around 11 AM to 1 PM and again around 3-5 PM. He sleeps all night from 7:30-8 AM.”—Lori E.

15. An 11-month-old who co-sleeps

“My 11-month-old is a co-sleeper so she gets up with me at 6:30 AM on weekdays, her sisters are on the bus by 7:10 AM, she falls back asleep till 10-11:00 AM sometimes so do I. Then she’s up and her next nap is around 2:00 PM, she wakes up when her sisters come home at 3:00 PM. Sometimes she’ll take a cat nap when I’m cooking dinner around 6:00 PM, then is in bed by 10:00 PM and sleeps through the night. She’s the best!”—Rachel F.

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Don’t worry, though: It’s completely possible to skip the battle and transition smoothly to bedtime. It all starts by acknowledging (as hard as that can be) that your little baby isn’t so little. But by graduating from a traditional wearable blanket to the ingenious new On the Move Sleep Bag from Ergobaby with optional legs for loungewear, you can give them the independence they crave—while developing a peaceful bedtime routine that calmly transitions them to dreamland.

Here are more ways to make winding down a special (and stress-free) experience for both of you:

From reading books to singing songs and dressing for bed in Ergobaby’s On the Move Sleep Bag , you are developing a sweet routine that leads to sweet dreams.

This article was sponsored by Ergobaby . Thank you for supporting the brands that support Motherly and mamas.

I’m told that sameness is a comfort for toddlers, and after living with this one, I can believe it. He smiles and laughs as we climb the stairs hand in hand, he brushes his teeth standing on his little red stool (“No no, we don’t run with our toothbrushes in our mouths”), and then we read a story.

After the story, he runs, joyous and laughing, into his own room. We hug and he tells me how much he loves his stuffed panda and his blanket, and then I put him in his crib and say, “I love you, have a good nap, I’ll see you soon.”

Then I walk out and close the door. At that point, every single day, he cries.